Creating Your Future After a Toxic Relationship

A Coaching Workbook

This workbook can also be used as a resource for anyone wanting to create a more fulfilling future.

About The Book

This book is organised into 10 clear steps to take the reader on a creative journey into planning the future they would like, once safely out of a toxic relationship. It is apparent that many come out of relationships with the future they once had planned evaporating, leaving them no longer sure of what to look forward to. So much energy can be spent extracting themselves that many can be left feeling uncertain of how to create a new future and how to begin to move forward in their lives.

Included are practical exercises which are supported with prompts for actions, reflections and tools that can help along the way. These prompts can be undertaken in that moment in time before moving onwards. They offer a valuable bridge to connect the reader to their own resources and personal insights that lead to change, through a coaching approach. It offers inspiration and support to the reader to create self-motivation and energy to enable them to implement actions that take them forward on their journey.

“Forgiving ourselves can be one of the hardest things to do”

What’s inside


Step 1

Taking stock


Step 2

How our brain can help us


Step 3

The power of language


Step 4

Understanding your values


Step 6

Re-assess your beliefs


Step 7

 Improving assertiveness


Step 8

Designing your future    


Step 9

Goal setting


Step 10

Motivation and contingency planning



  • Why is self-care important?
  • The four dimensions of self-care
  • Summary

This Step encourages you to reflect on your life and take stock of your current situation before beginning your journey towards creating a new future. The wheel tool enables you to create a personalised and measurable benchmark of where you are now so that you can measure your success on your journey.


Before you start on any journey it is a good idea to understand where you are starting from. At least then you can measure how far you have come!

I am aware that for a lot of people after a breakdown of a relationship, it can take time to re-discover who you are and what your personal preferences might be. For many when you are first alone you can be left with no real sense of self. When a relationship ends it can knock your self-confidence, your decision-making abilities, self-esteem, and body image. All of which can feel at rock bottom. If you have suffered constant criticism, emotional bullying and belittling tactics, your sense of everything can become very distorted. You may have been constantly shaping your world to satisfy another. Your sense of self then becomes determined by what you are receiving. However, once realised, the only way is up! Once free you may not have any idea of your own likes and dislikes, such as do you like cross stitch, the colour pink or even mountain biking? It can, and does, take time to recover from a toxic relationship to become fully well and functioning again. But you can become strong and focused once more and maybe at an even greater level than you ever expected.


Prior to creating a great big action plan, it is important to take stock of exactly how you are.



A note to coaches

This workbook has been written with the end user in mind to provide a framework that individuals can use to self-coach towards a preferred future. In addition, it is an excellent resource for coaches to recommend to their clients when structuring a programme of life coaching sessions. As a coach you can guide, question, support and challenge your clients to commit to actions throughout the workbook to help them on their journey.

The workbook can also be used as a resource for anyone wanting to create a more fulfilling future.

An invaluable workbook for use after the breakdown of an abusive relationship – the book empowers individuals to plan for their future and focus on the positive

K Moggs, Family Law Solicitor

It is all too easy to lose sight of who YOU are in a toxic relationship. This workbook enables you to take simple, powerful and effective steps towards recovery. Your past does not need to dictate your future

BC,  Womens Rufuge

Dee's personal insight blended with her expertise and experience has developed this brilliant resource to inform and support professionals and individuals alike

Sue Mellor, Coaching and Consultancy

About the author.

Dee Wilkinson is the founder and director of South West Coaching, specialising in coaching medical doctors, executive coaching, coaching supervision and the training of internal coaches and mentors. She has an MSc in Coaching and Development and is an experienced executive coach, coach supervisor, manager, trainer and facilitator.

Dee has worked with the NHS for 22 years and was one of the first to introduce coaching formally

into the NHS in Devon in 2004. She has experience of leading innovative teams, transforming working methods, building personal skills, and inspiring people. She founded South West Coaching in 2009 and has worked independently since 2011. She is a Master Coach accredited with the European Mentoring and Coaching Council and has been a qualified coach since 2004. Dee’s personal coaching interest is in managing personal energy and supporting men and women to meet more of their potential. Publications include Goal Setting Made Easy and was a contributor to Chapter 2, Practical Leadership in Nursing and Health Care (Henwood, 2014).

“Whilst it sounds a cliché this book really can change your life. I’m hoping that if it helps just one person turn their life around, like it did for me, then it has been worth it. Wishing you the very best on your journey”

Dee Wilkinson